7 Mistakes to Avoid as a New Stay-at-Home Dad (And How to Fix Them)
Becoming a stay-at-home dad is a bold and brilliant choice, but let’s be honest, it’s not always a walk in the park. Whether you're doing it full-time or just finding your feet, the transition can be tough. There’s no manual, no app that gives you all the answers, and no performance review telling you you're doing a good job.
Instead, there’s a whole lot of learning on the job. And that’s okay.
In this post, we’re sharing 7 common mistakes new stay-at-home dads make, along with simple, real-life fixes to help you thrive (not just survive) in your new role.
1. Trying to Be "On" All the Time
The mistake: Thinking you need to be fully engaged, cheerful, and switched-on from sunrise to bedtime.
Why it matters: Parenting is full-on, and being around a small person 24/7 is draining, mentally, physically, and emotionally. If you're constantly pushing yourself to be the perfect parent, you'll burn out quickly.
The fix: Give yourself permission to take a break. Let CBeebies or nap time be your signal to switch off for a few minutes. Sit down. Breathe. Scroll your phone guilt-free. You don’t need to be “on” all the time to be a brilliant dad.
2. Not Making Time for Yourself
The mistake: Letting the days revolve completely around your child, with no time for you to reset.
Why it matters: Your needs don’t disappear just because you're parenting full-time. You’re still a person. And a tired, overstretched version of you isn’t the best version for your child or yourself.
The fix: Schedule in small moments of freedom. Go for a walk without the buggy. Catch up with a mate for a pint or a coffee. Listen to music that doesn’t involve animals or rhymes. These micro-breaks add up and restore your sense of identity outside of being “dad.”
3. Thinking You Have to Do It All Alone
The mistake: Believing asking for help means you’re not coping or you’re not “man enough.”
Why it matters: This mindset only leads to isolation, stress, and unnecessary pressure. No parent can do it all alone, and they’re not supposed to.
The fix: Find your support circle. That might be your partner, your parents, other dads in your area, or even online communities. Just talking to someone who gets it can make all the difference. You’re not failing, you’re being human.
4. Neglecting Adult Conversation
The mistake: Spending every day talking in baby voices or only having conversations about snacks and nappies.
Why it matters: You need adult connection to feel balanced and mentally stimulated. Otherwise, it’s easy to feel like you’re disappearing behind the role.
The fix: Be intentional about making space for grown-up chat. Text your mates, arrange an evening out, or even start a WhatsApp group with other dads. Talk about music, sport, films - whatever makes you feel like you again.
5. Comparing Yourself to Other Parents
The mistake: Measuring your parenting success against what others are doing (or what they seem to be doing on Instagram).
Why it matters: Comparison creates self-doubt. What works for one family might not work for yours, and that’s perfectly fine.
The fix: Focus on what matters to you and your child. Are they fed, loved, safe, and (mostly) happy? Then you’re doing great. Social media is a highlights reel, not the whole picture.
6. Not Celebrating the Small Wins
The mistake: Only recognising the big milestones and ignoring the daily victories.
Why it matters: Staying at home to raise your child is full of tiny wins: getting through the day without a tantrum (from either of you), trying a new meal, surviving teething week. These things matter.
The fix: Take time to celebrate your efforts; even if it’s just with a quiet “I smashed that today” moment. You’re doing a demanding job, and it deserves recognition.
7. Being Too Hard on Yourself
The mistake: Holding yourself to unrealistic standards and beating yourself up when you don’t meet them.
Why it matters: The emotional weight of parenting is real. You won’t get everything right, and you don’t have to.
The fix: Be kinder to yourself. There will be days when the house is a mess, the baby won’t nap, and dinner is toast again. That’s not failure. That’s life with a little one. You’re showing up, and that counts for more than you think.
Final Thoughts
Being a stay-at-home dad is one of the most rewarding, challenging roles you can take on. You won’t always get it right. But you’ll grow, your bond with your child will deepen, and you’ll build skills you never knew you had.
So, take the break. Send the message. Laugh at the chaos. And give yourself the same grace you’d offer a mate in your shoes.
👋 Over to You 👋
Which of these mistakes have you faced, and what helped you through it?
Drop a comment or share this with a fellow dad who might need to hear it.
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