Talking to the BBC About Fatherhood and Finance
(And Why I Nearly Forgot How to Speak)
This week, I found myself on BBC Radio 4's You and Yours, discussing something that keeps most parents awake at night: the true cost of raising a child.
Not just the financial cost — though we'll get to that — but the hidden price tags nobody warns you about. The energy. The identity shift. The way your brain rewires itself to prioritise Peppa Pig negotiations over proper adult conversation.
When the invitation came through, I was genuinely chuffed. A chance to represent stay-at-home dads on national radio? Brilliant. A platform to talk about modern fatherhood and what it actually means to be the primary carer? Even better.
Then the nerves kicked in.
The Stay-at-Home Dad Voice (Or Lack Thereof)
Here's what nobody tells you about being a stay-at-home dad: you lose your "adult voice" somewhere between the soft play centre and the third reading of The Gruffalo.
My days revolve around Lily's schedule. We talk about why cheese is the superior food group. We debate whether puddles are for jumping in or admiring from a distance. We sing songs about buses and ducks with a sincerity that would terrify my younger self.
It's brilliant, honestly. But it's also isolating in ways I didn't anticipate.
So when I suddenly found myself on live radio, expected to articulate coherent thoughts about paternity leave, childcare costs, and the financial reality of being a full-time father — my tongue tied itself in knots. Words that used to flow naturally felt clunky. Sentences came out tangled.
I definitely stumbled. Probably said "um" more than I should have. But you know what? That's the reality of this journey.
The Real Cost of Being a Stay-at-Home Dad
The discussion on You and Yours touched on something crucial: when we talk about the cost of parenthood, we're not just talking about nappies and nursery fees.
We're talking about:
The career you pause (or leave behind entirely)
The identity shift from "professional" to "primary carer"
The mental load of running a household while raising a tiny, opinionated human
The social isolation that creeps in when your social circle is suddenly other parents at baby groups
The financial vulnerability of being outside the workforce
For stay-at-home dads in the UK, there's an added layer. We're still somewhat unusual. Brilliant, yes — but unusual. Only around 7% of stay-at-home parents are fathers, which means we're often navigating spaces designed for mums, representing a choice that still raises eyebrows at family gatherings.
Finding Your Voice Again
This experience reminded me why I started Old Dad Diary — and why I share our journey on YouTube.
Because every parent deserves to feel seen. Every dad who's chosen (or circumstantially ended up) as the primary carer needs to know they're not alone. And every family navigating these decisions needs honest conversations about what it really looks like.
Parenthood isn't about being perfectly polished. It's about showing up, even when your words come out wonky. It's about being honest when things are hard, celebrating when they're brilliant, and remembering that your voice matters — even when it shakes a little.
Fancy a Listen?
You can hear the full episode of BBC Radio 4's You and Yours here — I start talking around the 12-minute mark. Grab a cuppa (or an iced coffee, if you're feeling fancy) and settle in for a proper chat about the realities of modern fatherhood.
And if you've ever felt tongue-tied, overlooked, or wondered if you're the only stay-at-home dad Googling "is it normal to forget what day it is" — you're in excellent company.
Come find me over on YouTube where I document this whole chaotic, brilliant, exhausting adventure. Let's keep the conversation going.
Because the more we talk about this stuff, the less alone we all feel.
