The Ultimate Guide to Being a Stay-at-Home Dad in the UK: Everything I Wish I'd Known

A comprehensive resource from a dad who's living it

What's It Like Being a Stay-at-Home Dad?

Being a stay-at-home dad in the UK is simultaneously the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done. I swapped my toolbox and spanners as a Mercedes mechanic for nappy bags and soft play sessions, and honestly? Some days I miss the old days of fixing cars. At least engines come with manuals.

But here's what nobody tells you: being a stay-at-home father means you'll cry happy tears when your daughter takes her first steps, feel genuine pride when she finally eats all her vegetables, and experience a depth of connection that would've been impossible if you were working a 9-to-5. It's exhausting, isolating at times, and occasionally soul-crushing. However, It's also magical, hilarious, and deeply fulfilling.

This guide is everything I've learned since becoming a full-time stay-at-home dad to my daughter, Lily. Whether you're considering making the leap, currently navigating those early days, or looking for community and validation, this is for you.

Is Being a Stay-at-Home Dad Hard?

Short answer: Yes, it's incredibly hard. But it's also incredibly worth it.

Let me be honest with you. When I first decided to become a stay-at-home dad, I thought, "How hard can it be? I've rebuilt car engines. I can handle a toddler." I was spectacularly wrong.

The Hardest Parts:

1. The Relentlessness
There are no sick days, no lunch breaks, no clocking out. When Lily wakes up at 5:30 AM, my shift starts. If she has a meltdown at 7 PM, I'm still on duty. The physical and mental demands are constant.

2. The Isolation
Most baby groups and toddler activities are attended by mums. As a stay-at-home dad in the UK, you're often the only man in the room. It can be lonely, and it takes effort to build your support network.

3. The Identity Shift
I went from being "David the mechanic" to "Lily's dad." That transition is harder than anyone admits. Your career, your social circle, your sense of self - all of it changes overnight.

4. The Invisible Work
Nobody sees the 47 loads of laundry, the meal planning, the developmental research, the endless tidying. Society doesn't value this work the way it values paid employment, and that can wear on you.

The Rewarding Parts:

1. The Moments
I was there when Lily said "dada" for the first time. I saw her first steps. I watched her personality emerge day by day. These aren't stories someone told me - I lived them. That's priceless.

2. The Bond
The relationship I have with my daughter is unlike anything I imagined. I'm not a weekend dad or a bedtime-story dad. I'm her person. She reaches for me when she's scared, laughs at my jokes, and trusts me completely.

3. The Growth
I've learned patience I didn't know I had. I've become more emotionally intelligent, more organized, and more present. This job has made me a better human.

4. The Freedom (Eventually)
Once you establish routines and rhythms, there's a beautiful freedom in setting your own schedule. Park visits when the weather's nice, spontaneous adventures, learning at your own pace.

So yes, it's hard. But if someone told me I had to go back to a traditional job tomorrow, I'd fight tooth and nail to stay home with Lily. That should tell you everything.

The Reality: My Journey from Mechanic to Full-Time Dad

I never planned to become a stay-at-home dad. It wasn't a childhood dream or a carefully mapped life plan. It was a practical decision that turned into something profoundly meaningful.

How It Happened

When Lily was born, my partner and I looked at our finances, our jobs, and our priorities. Childcare costs in the UK are astronomical - we were looking at £1,200+ per month for full-time nursery care. My partner's career had more growth potential and earning power. The math was simple, but the emotional calculation was complex.

Leaving my career as a Mercedes mechanic meant giving up:

• A steady income and professional identity

• Workplace camaraderie and adult conversation

• The tangible satisfaction of fixing things

• Financial independence

But staying home meant gaining:

• Every single moment of Lily's early years

• The ability to raise her according to our values

• Freedom from the stress of juggling two careers and childcare

• A chance to document this journey and build something new

The Transition

When my partners maternity leave ended, The first month after was brutal. I felt like I was drowning. I had no idea what I was doing, and I questioned whether I'd made a terrible mistake. I went from having clear performance metrics at work (car fixed = success) to having no idea if I was doing anything right.

But around month three, something clicked. I learned Lily's rhythms, built a routine, and started connecting with other parents. I discovered that parenting isn't about perfection - it's about presence, patience, and showing up every day.

Where I Am Now

Today, I run a YouTube channel with over 60,000 subscribers, share our journey on Instagram and TikTok, and maintain this blog. I've been featured on BBC Radio 4, in The Telegraph, and on Irish radio discussing stay-at-home fatherhood. What started as documenting memories for Lily has become a platform to support other dads navigating this path.

But more importantly? Lily is thriving. She's confident, curious, and secure. And I've found a purpose I never knew existed.

Financial Planning for Stay-at-Home Dads

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: money. This is often the biggest barrier preventing dads from staying home, and it's a legitimate concern that deserves honest discussion.

The Real Cost Analysis

Before You Make the Leap:

1. Calculate Your True Take-Home vs. Childcare Costs

   • Your actual salary after tax and National Insurance

   • Minus: Childcare costs (£1,000-1,500/month in most UK cities)

   • Minus: Commuting costs (petrol, train fares, parking)

   • Minus: Work wardrobe and meals

   • Minus: Additional costs (convenience meals, outsourced housework)

   For many families, one parent working barely breaks even after childcare.

2. Government Benefits and Support

   • Child Benefit: £25.60/week for first child (as of 2025)

   • Check eligibility for Universal Credit if income drops significantly

   • Council Tax reduction may be available

   • Free childcare hours (15-30 hours/week for 3-4 year olds)

3. Build Your Emergency Fund

   • Aim for 6-12 months expenses saved before transitioning

   • Having a financial cushion reduces stress enormously

   • Consider what happens if your working partner loses their job

Making It Work on One Income

Our Strategies:

1. Ruthless Budgeting

   • We cut subscription services from 8 to 2

   • Meal planning saves us £200/month on groceries

   • Second-hand baby items (Facebook Marketplace is gold)

   • Free activities instead of expensive entertainment

2. Side Income

   • Building income through YouTube ad revenue

   • Blog affiliate links

   • Brand partnerships

   • All while being present for Lily during the day

3. Long-Term Financial Planning

   • Keep your pension contributions going (even small amounts)

   • Your National Insurance credits continue as a primary carer

   • Consider your partner increasing their pension contributions

   • Remember: you're saving for retirement as a couple

The Hidden Financial Benefits

What Gets Overlooked:

• Less Illness: We're not bringing nursery germs home constantly

• Home Cooking: Healthier, cheaper meals

• Car Usage: One car instead of two (major savings)

• Flexibility: Can take advantage of off-peak pricing for activities

• Long-Term Career: Your partner can focus fully on career advancement

• Reduced Stress: No childcare juggling means fewer emergency taxi rides or missed work days

Honest Truth: We have less disposable income. Holidays are UK-based. We don't have the latest everything. But we've never regretted it for a second.

The First 90 Days: What to Expect

The transition to stay-at-home dad life is intense. Here's what those first three months actually look like, and how to survive them.

Month 1: Survival Mode

What's Happening:

• You're learning your child's needs and rhythms

• Everything takes three times longer than expected

• You're grieving your old life and identity

• Sleep deprivation (if you have a baby) or exhaustion (if you have a toddler)

Your Mission:

• Keep child alive and fed ✓

• Keep yourself alive and fed ✓

• Basic household maintenance ✓

• Everything else is bonus

Top Tips:

1. Lower your expectations to the floor

2. Accept all offers of help

3. Don't try to be productive - just be present

4. Join at least one parent group (yes, even if it's all mums)

Month 2: Finding Rhythm

What's Happening:

• Patterns start emerging

• You're developing your parenting style

• Identity crisis peaks ("Who am I now?")

• You're noticing which parts you love and which parts are hard

Your Mission:

• Establish a loose daily routine

• Identify your support network

• Start self-care practices (even 15 minutes counts)

• Research local activities and groups

Top Tips:

1. Create anchor points in your day (morning walk, lunch routine, bedtime)

2. Connect with at least one other stay-at-home parent

3. Give yourself permission to not love every moment

4. Start documenting the good bits (photos, journal, videos)

Month 3: Emerging Confidence

What's Happening:

• You've got this... mostly

• Bad days still happen but don't destroy you

• You're thinking about structure and development

• You can see the light at the end of the tunnel

Your Mission:

• Solidify your routine

• Plan weekly activities and outings

• Start thinking about your own interests/development

• Reflect on what's working and what isn't

Top Tips:

1. This is when you can start being more ambitious (playgroups, trips, activities)

2. Consider how to maintain your own identity (hobbies, online learning, side projects)

3. Check in with your partner about division of labour

4. Celebrate that you've made it through the hardest part

The Adjustment Nobody Warns You About

For You:

• You'll have conversations with yourself and inanimate objects

• You'll forget what day it is constantly

• You'll feel simultaneously bored and overwhelmed

• You'll wonder if you're doing anything right

For Your Relationship:

• Your partner comes home to chaos while you're desperate for relief

• Resentment can build (they get adult lunch breaks, you don't)

• You need to actively communicate needs

• Date nights become crucial (even if it's pizza after bedtime)

Reality Check: If you're struggling, you're normal. If you're questioning everything, you're normal. If you miss your old life, you're normal. This transition is massive, and it takes time.

Building Your Daily Routine

A routine is your best friend as a stay-at-home dad. It provides structure, reduces decision fatigue, and helps your child feel secure. But it needs to be flexible enough to handle the chaos of real life.

Our Typical Day (Lily at 2 Years Old)

6:30 AM - Lily wakes up (yes, almost every single day)

• Cuddles and morning chat

• Breakfast prep while she reads

• I make coffee and check messages

7:00 AM - Breakfast together

• Porridge, fruit, chaos

• Clean up (or: move mess to sink for later)

• Get dressed (both of us ready for the day)

8:30 AM - Morning activity

• Get out for a walk (hope it’s not pooring down)

• Free play, (trains, colouring, blocks )

• Reply to any emails and comments

10:30 AM - Snack time

• Fruit, milk or water and cheese for the cheese monster

• Second coffee time for me

11:00 AM - Active play or outing

• Park, soft play, garden time, or energetic indoor play

• This is crucial - tire Lily out before lunch

12:00 PM - Lunch

• Something simple (pasta, sandwich, leftovers from last night)

• She eats the whole lot and asks for more

• I eat along as we go

12:45 PM - Nap time (she will soon be dropping this - send help)

• Calm-down activities, read books

• When/if she naps: MY TIME (Housework, admin, content creation, or just breathe)

• When/if she doesn't: quiet time with toys while I'm nearby

2:30 PM - Afternoon activity

• Creative play (crafts, painting, play dough)

• Library visits

• Shopping if needed

• Or just low-key home play

4:00 PM - Snack and wind-down

• TV time for her (yes, I use screen time strategically and with fun educational content only)

• I prep dinner and tidy up

5:30 PM - Dinner as a family

• My partner's finished by now

• We all eat together

• One or both of us sort the dishes

6:30 PM - Bath and bedtime routine

• Bath, pajamas, teeth, stories

• She requests one more story or song

• Lights out by 7:00 PM (in theory)

7:30 PM onwards - Adult time

• Tidy up any rogue toys

• Actually talk to my partner (like adults , this is very important)

• Work on YouTube/blog content

• Make time to watch TV like a normal humans

The Flexibility Factor

This schedule works 60% of the time. The other 40%:

• Someone's sick

• Weather ruins outdoor plans

• Lily decides naps are for losers

• We have appointments

• I'm just too exhausted to follow the plan

And that's okay. The routine is a framework, not a prison.

Weekly Planning Structure

Monday: Fresh start, playgroup, meal prep for the week
Tuesday: Library day, quieter activities
Wednesday: Big outing or adventure
Thursday: Errands, admin, catch-up day
Friday: Playdate or soft play
Weekend: Family time, we can share the tasks more

Activity Ideas by Time of Day

Morning (high energy):

• Park visits

• Baby classes (swimming, music, sensory)

• Playgroups

• Active play

Afternoon (medium energy):

• Library visits

• Grocery shopping

• Crafts and messy play

• Garden time

Late afternoon (low energy - for both of us):

• Quiet play

• TV time

• Reading books

• Puzzle time

Mental Health and Combating Isolation

This is the part nobody talks about enough. Being a stay-at-home dad can be isolating, and it can take a toll on your mental health. Here's how to protect yourself.

The Isolation Is Real

As a stay-at-home dad in the UK, you'll often be the only man at toddler groups, baby classes, and park playdates. Most other parents will be mums. Some will be welcoming, some will be awkward around you, and some will form their own closed groups.

I've experienced:

• Being the only dad at every single baby class

• Other parents assume I'm "babysitting" not parenting

• Feeling like an outsider in parent WhatsApp groups

• Missing adult conversation and workplace camaraderie

• Days where the only adult I speak to is my partner when she gets home

The Hard Truth: You need to be proactive about combating this. It won't solve itself.

Strategies That Actually Help

1. Find Your People

• Dad-specific groups: Search "dads group [your city]" on Facebook

• Online communities: Reddit's r/sahp and r/daddit, UK parenting forums

• Create your own: Start a WhatsApp group with dads you met and like

• Be the regular: Show up consistently to the same playgroups - familiarity breeds friendship

2. Maintain Your Identity

• Hobbies matter: I still work on cars occasionally, just in smaller chunks

• Physical activity: Morning gym when partner's home, and evening plus weekend workouts together

• Learning: Podcasts during park time, online courses during nap time

• Creative outlets: Started YouTube originally to keep my brain engaged

3. Structure Your Week

• Plan adult interaction: Coffee with another parent once a week

• Schedule calls: Catch up with old friends during lunch

• Break the routine: One morning a week, do something completely different

• Date nights: Even takeaway and a movie after bedtime counts

4. Talk About It

The biggest mistake I made in month 2 was keeping everything inside. I felt like I should be grateful, like admitting struggle meant I was failing.

Reality: You can love being a stay-at-home dad AND find it incredibly hard. Both things are true.

Talk to:

• Your partner (regularly, honestly)

• Other stay-at-home parents

• A therapist if you need one (many offer online sessions)

• Your GP if you're experiencing signs of depression

Warning Signs You Need Support

Check in with yourself if you're experiencing:

• Persistent feelings of emptiness or sadness

• Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

• Irritability or anger that feels out of proportion

• Feeling trapped or hopeless

• Difficulty bonding with your child

• Thoughts about harming yourself

These are signs of parental depression, and they're more common than you think. Get help. It's not weakness - it's smart parenting.

The Dad-Specific Challenges

1. Society Doesn't Validate Your Work
People will ask, "What do you do?" You'll say, "I'm a stay-at-home dad." They'll respond, "Oh, so you're not working?" Yes, I'm working. I'm working harder than I ever did in a garage.

2. Financial Dependence Feels Weird
As men, we're socialized to be providers. Depending on your partner's income can trigger feelings of inadequacy, even when you're logically contributing equally.

3. Judgment From Other Men
Some blokes will make jokes, question your masculinity, or dismiss what you do. Let them. Their insecurity isn't your problem.

4. The Identity Crisis
You're not a [insert old career] anymore. You're not just "Dad" either. You're something new, and figuring out what that means takes time.

Self-Care Isn't Selfish

My Non-Negotiables:

• 30 minutes of exercise 4x/week (even if it's just a run)

• One evening per week for my own thing (no guilt)

• Regular haircuts and personal grooming (sounds small, matters big)

• Saying no to things that drain me

What Works for Other Dads:

• Morning coffee alone before everyone wakes up

• Gaming after bedtime

• Men's groups or sports teams

• Side projects or freelance work

• Meditation apps (Headspace, Calm)

Remember: You can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself makes you a better parent, not a selfish one.

<a name="judgment"></a>

Dealing with Judgment and Gender Stereotypes

Let's be real: being a stay-at-home dad in the UK means constantly navigating other people's opinions, surprise, and sometimes outright judgment. Here's what you'll encounter and how to handle it.

The Comments You'll Get

"Oh, so you're babysitting today?"
No, I'm parenting. Babysitters get paid and go home.

"That's nice that you're helping out while mum's away."
I'm not helping out. I'm her parent. This is my job.

"Wish my husband would do that!"
(Said with a tone suggesting I'm some kind of unicorn, not a normal dad doing normal parenting)

"What do you actually DO all day?"
gestures vaguely at everything

"When are you going back to real work?"
This IS real work.

The Awkward Situations

At Baby Classes:

• Other mums forming tight groups while I'm on the periphery

• Being the only man and feeling like an outsider

• Instructors directing all questions to the mums, even when I'm right there

• Someone assuming I don't know basic childcare (I do, thanks)

At the Park:

• Other parents watching me more carefully (sadly, single dads face suspicion)

• Mums chatting together while I'm playing with Lily alone

• Being left out of WhatsApp groups and playdate invitations

With Extended Family:

• "When are you going back to work?" at every family gathering

• Subtle (or not-so-subtle) suggestions that you're not contributing

• Questions about your partner "wearing the trousers"

• Surprise that you can do basic tasks like making lunch or changing nappies

How to Respond

Strategy 1: The Direct Approach "I'm not babysitting, I'm parenting. This is my full-time job."
Clear, firm, educational. Works for most people.

Strategy 2: The Humor Deflection "Oh yeah, babysitting my own child - I charge myself £15 an hour."
Lightens the mood while making the point.

Strategy 3: The Ignore and Move On Sometimes people aren't worth engaging with. Smile, nod, and let it go.

Strategy 4: The Confidence Play "I'm a stay-at-home dad and YouTuber with 60,000 subscribers. It's the best decision I've ever made."
Own it completely. No justification needed.

Internalized Expectations

The Hardest Judgment Often Comes From Within:

I still sometimes feel like I should justify my choice. Like I need to prove I'm productive, that I'm doing "enough," that I'm still masculine and valuable despite not earning a traditional income.

The Truth: These feelings are products of socialization, not reality. Providing care, raising a child, managing a household - this is real work. This is valuable work. You don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Building Your Confidence

What Helped Me:

1. Connecting with other SAHDs: Seeing other men confidently in this role normalized it

2. Tracking my impact: Lily's development, our bond, the memories we're creating

3. Reframing success: Success isn't a paycheck, it's being the parent I want to be

4. Finding my community: Online and offline, people who get it

When to Speak Up vs. Let It Go

Speak up when:

• It's someone close to you who needs to understand

• It's harmful or affecting your child

• You have the energy and it might create change

• It's a teachable moment

Let it go when:

• It's a random stranger you'll never see again

• Engaging will cost you more emotional energy than it's worth

• The person clearly isn't open to understanding

• You're already drained and need to protect your peace

The Positive Side

Not All Reactions Are Negative:

• Many people are genuinely impressed and supportive

• Other dads often express admiration or envy

• Kids benefit from seeing diverse family structures

• You're normalizing stay-at-home fatherhood for the next generation

I've also received:

• Genuine interest and curiosity about the experience

• Thanks from other dads for being visible

• Opportunities (media features, speaking engagements) because I'm breaking stereotypes

• Deeper connections with people who value what I'm doing

<a name="activities"></a>

Activities and Resources for SAHDs in the UK

One of the biggest challenges is figuring out what to actually DO all day. Here's your comprehensive guide to activities, resources, and places that work for stay-at-home dads.

Free and Low-Cost Activities

Weekly Essentials:

1. Library Sessions

• Most UK libraries have free baby and toddler storytimes

• Usually weekday mornings, 30-45 minutes

• Great for language development and meeting other parents

• You can borrow books, music CDs, and even toys at some branches

2. Park Rotation

• Find 3-5 parks in your area and rotate

• Morning is best for toddlers (fewer kids, fresh energy)

• Bring snacks, changes of clothes, and patience

• Playgrounds are free and tire kids out brilliantly

3. Soft Play

• Most towns have at least one soft play center

• Typically £3-7 per child

• Indoor option for rainy days (and there are MANY in the UK)

• Coffee for you, climbing for them

4. Nature Walks

• Free, healthy, and educational

• Bring a "nature bag" to collect leaves, stones, sticks

• Even 20 minutes outside helps with sleep and mood

• Download apps like Seek to identify plants and animals

5. Home-Based Play

• Sensory bins (rice, pasta, water play)

• Arts and crafts with basic supplies

• Building with blocks and boxes

• Music and dancing (free, burns energy)

Classes and Structured Activities

Worth the Investment:

Swimming Lessons (£8-15 per session)

• Essential life skill

• Quality bonding time

• Great exercise for both of you

• Most pools offer parent-toddler sessions

Music Classes (£6-10 per session)

• Monkey Music, Jo Jingles, Hartbeeps

• Supports language development

• Fun and engaging

• You'll get songs stuck in your head for days (sorry)

Toddler Groups (£1-3 per session)

• Church halls, community centers run these

• Toys, crafts, snacks, and social time

• Cheapest way to meet other parents

• Usually drop-in, no commitment

Gym Creche (Included with membership)

• Many gyms offer free childcare for members

• You work out, they play safely

• Everyone wins

Seasonal Activities

Spring/Summer:

• Free outdoor festivals and fairs

• Beach trips and rock pooling

• Water play in the garden

• Picnics in the park

• Pick-your-own fruit farms

Autumn/Winter:

• Pumpkin patches and apple picking

• Indoor play centers

• Christmas lights and markets

• Museum visits (many are free)

• Baking and cooking together

UK-Specific Resources

Websites and Apps:

1. Hoop: App showing local activities for kids (filtered by age, cost, location)

2. Meet Up: Find local parent groups, including dad-specific groups

3. Facebook Local Groups: "[Your Town] Mums and Dads" - ignore the name, join anyway

4. Netmums: Forum and local activity listings

5. What's On 4 Kids: Regional activity listings

National Trust and English Heritage:

• Annual family memberships (£120-150)

• Access to hundreds of properties and estates

• Free parking, great for rainy days

• Often have toddler trails and activities

Museums (Free Entry):

• British Museum, Natural History Museum, Science Museum (London)

• Most major cities have free museums with child-friendly exhibits

• Check for toddler-specific sessions

Activity Planning Strategy

My Weekly Structure:

Monday: New week energy - swimming lesson
Tuesday: Free play at home (recovery day)
Wednesday: Library + park
Thursday: Shopping + soft play if needed
Friday: Playgroup or playdate
Weekend: Family adventures, I step back

The Key: Mix structured activities with free play. Kids need both.

Making Friends as a SAHD

Where I've Met Other Dads:

1. Dads-specific groups: Search Facebook for "[Your City] Dads Group"

2. Regular attendance: Being the familiar face at the same Wednesday playgroup

3. Sports and outdoor activities: Park meetups, parkrun (with buggies)

4. Online communities first: Connected online, met in person later

5. Just asking: "We're going to [place] on Thursday, fancy joining?"

Conversation Starters That Work:

• "How old is yours? Ours is [age]."

• "Do you come here often?" (Not creepy in parent context!)

• "Know any good [activities/cafes/playgrounds] around here?"

• "How are you finding the whole stay-at-home thing?"

Activity Ideas by Age

0-12 Months:

• Baby sensory classes

• Baby swimming

• Tummy time playmates

• Pram walks and coffee shops

• Parent-baby yoga

1-2 Years:

• Toddler storytimes

• Soft play (with baby areas)

• Messy play sessions

• Music classes

• Simple crafts (tearing paper, painting)

2-3 Years:

• Toddler groups with structured play

• Swimming getting more independent

• Parks with proper playgrounds

• First cinema trips (if they'll sit)

• Arts and crafts getting complex

3-4 Years:

• Pre-school prep activities

• Sports classes (football tots, mini rugby)

• More adventurous outings (farms, zoos)

• Playdates at each other's homes

• Cooking together

Rainy Day Survival Kit

Essential Indoor Activities:

1. Sensory bins: Rice, pasta, water beads, or dried beans with scoops and containers

2. Art supplies: Washable paints, crayons, paper, stickers

3. Building toys: Blocks, LEGO Duplo, boxes

4. Music and dance: YouTube videos, instruments, dance parties

5. Screen time: Educational shows (Bluey is your friend)

6. Baking: Simple recipes, lots of mess, edible results

7. Pillow forts: Use every cushion in the house

8. Treasure hunts: Hide toys around the house

9. Indoor camping: Tent or blanket fort, picnic lunch

10. Playdough: Homemade recipe keeps them busy for hours

The Honest Truth: Some days, survival is the goal. TV and snacks are completely acceptable babysitters while you catch your breath.

<a name="making-money"></a>

How Do Stay-at-Home Dads Make Money?

"How do you afford to live on one income?" This question comes up constantly. The truth is, many stay-at-home dads (including me) find ways to contribute financially while still being primary caregivers. Here's how.

Income Streams That Work

1. Content Creation (My Path)

YouTube:

• 60,000+ subscribers generates £500-1,500/month in ad revenue

• Family/parenting content has moderate CPM rates

• Takes 6-12 months to build to monetization (1,000 subs, 4,000 watch hours)

• Create content during nap times and after bedtime

Blog and Affiliate Marketing:

• Product reviews with Amazon Associates and other programs

• Can generate £100-500/month once traffic builds

• Write during quiet moments, publish on schedule

Brand Partnerships:

• Once you have audience, brands pay for sponsored content

• £300-2,000 per partnership depending on reach

• I typically do 1-2 per month

• Must align with your values - authenticity is everything

Social Media:

• Instagram and TikTok can generate income through partnerships

• Smaller but growing revenue stream

• Focus on authentic storytelling, not chasing trends

Realistic Timeline:

• Months 1-6: Building audience, no income

• Months 6-12: First £100-500/month

• Year 2+: £1,000-3,000/month potential

2. Freelancing During Nap Times

Popular Options for SAHDs:

• Writing/Copywriting: Flexible hours, work during naps

• Graphic Design: Portfolio-based, project work

• Web Development: High-paying, remote work

• Virtual Assistant: Administrative tasks, scheduling

• Bookkeeping: If you have the skills

• Consulting: In your former field

Platforms to Find Work:

• Upwork, Fiverr, PeoplePerHour (UK-focused)

• LinkedIn for professional connections

• Cold outreach to small businesses

Realistic Earnings: £500-2,000/month working 10-15 hours weekly

3. E-commerce and Online Business

Dropshipping or Amazon FBA:

• Sell products without holding inventory

• Work around parenting schedule

• Higher initial investment and risk

• Takes 6-12 months to become profitable

Etsy or Creative Products:

• Digital downloads (parenting printables, planners)

• Physical crafts (if that's your thing)

• Can involve your kids in the creative process

Print-on-Demand:

• Design t-shirts, mugs, etc. sold through platforms

• No inventory needed

• Passive income once designs are up

4. Part-Time Evening/Weekend Work

If You Need Immediate Income:

• Weekend shifts when partner's home

• Evening work after bedtime

• Reduces time together as couple (downside)

• Maintains professional skills and confidence

Examples:

• Retail shifts

• Delivery driving (Deliveroo, Uber Eats)

• Bartending

• Freelance in your former field

5. Investing Your Skills

If You Had a Professional Career:

• Consulting work (couple hours per week)

• Contract projects during nap times

• Keep your professional network warm

• Mentor or coach others remotely

My Background (Mechanic):

• Occasionally do mobile mechanic work on weekends

• Friends and family pay for basic services

• Keeps my skills current

• Generates £200-500/month when I want it

Building a Side Hustle While Parenting

The Reality Check:

You're not going to launch a million-pound business while raising a toddler. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling something. But you CAN build sustainable side income that:

• Respects your primary role as parent

• Grows gradually over time

• Doesn't require massive upfront investment

• Fits around your child's schedule

Time Management Strategy:

Available Time Windows:

• Nap time: 1-2 hours daily (if you're lucky)

• After bedtime: 2-3 hours evening (if you have energy)

• Early morning: 1 hour before child wakes (if you're masochistic)

• Weekend mornings: When partner takes over

Realistic Weekly Schedule:

• 10-15 hours maximum for side income work

• Some weeks will be zero hours (sick kids, rough nights)

• Consistency over intensity wins

What Worked for Me:

Year 1: Just focused on surviving and being a good dad. No income pressure.

Year 2: Started filming YouTube videos during activities we were already doing. Zero extra time investment - just documented our life. Posted inconsistently.

Year 3: Audience grew to 20K. Started getting first brand inquiries. Made first £500 month.

Year 4: Hit 60K subscribers. Now consistently earning £1,500-3,000/month. Added blog for SEO. Created media kit. Treat it like a business.

Key Lesson: Start with what you're already doing. Don't try to add completely new activities - monetize existing ones.

The Mindset Shift

You're Not "Just" a Stay-at-Home Dad:

You're providing:

• Childcare worth £1,200+/month

• Household management

• Meal planning and cooking

• Educational activities and development

• Emotional support and stability

• Logistical coordination

Financial Value: If you hired someone to do everything you do, it would cost £2,500-4,000/month. You ARE contributing financially by saving that expense.

Any Additional Income: That's bonus on top of your primary contribution.

Tax Considerations (UK)

Important Info:

• Personal Allowance: £12,570 tax-free (2025/26)

• If your side income is under this, no tax owed

• Over this amount, you need to register for Self Assessment

• Keep receipts for business expenses

• Consider forming a limited company once earning £20K+/year

National Insurance Credits:

• You automatically get NI credits as primary carer

• Protects your state pension eligibility

• No need to apply - automatic if claiming Child Benefit

Should You Even Pursue Side Income?

Honest Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Do you actually need it? If one income covers basics comfortably, maybe just being present is enough.

2. Will it compromise your primary role? If you're stressed, distracted, and constantly on your phone trying to build a business, you're defeating the purpose.

3. Are you doing it for income or identity? Some dads need a side project for mental health and sense of achievement - and that's valid.

4. Can it wait? Maybe year 1 is just survival, year 2 you explore options, year 3 you build something.

There's No Wrong Answer: Some SAHDs earn significant side income. Others focus entirely on parenting. Both are valid choices.

<a name="top-tips"></a>

Stay-at-Home Dad Tips and Advice

After years of doing this, here's the accumulated wisdom - the stuff I wish someone had told me on day one.

The Absolute Essentials

1. Lower Your Expectations (Seriously)

You will not have a spotless house. You will not cook gourmet meals daily. You will not be endlessly patient. You will not be productive in the traditional sense.

Your job is to keep your child safe, fed, and loved. Everything else is bonus.

On days where the only thing you accomplished was keeping them alive and happy, you succeeded. Full stop.

2. Build a Routine (But Stay Flexible)

Kids thrive on routine. You'll thrive on routine. But rigidity will drive you mad.

Create anchor points:

• Breakfast at roughly the same time

• Morning activity/outing

• Lunch routine

• Quiet/nap time

• Afternoon activity

• Dinner and bedtime routine

But allow for:

• Sick days

• "Everything is chaos" days

• Spontaneous adventures

• Following your child's lead

3. Get Out of the House Daily

Even if it's just a walk around the block. Fresh air, change of scenery, and physical activity make everything better.

Benefits:

• Prevents cabin fever

• Improves sleep

• Provides sensory stimulation

• Gives you a mental break

• Makes the day feel more purposeful

4. Connect With Other Parents

Isolation will destroy you faster than anything else. You need adult conversation and community.

Make it a priority:

• Attend at least one regular group

• Exchange numbers with parents you click with

• Join online communities

• Say yes to coffee invitations

• Initiate playdates

5. Protect Your Mental Health

This is non-negotiable. You cannot be a good parent if you're running on empty.

Essential practices:

• Regular exercise (even 20 minutes counts)

• Adequate sleep (negotiate with partner for lie-ins)

• Time to yourself (weekly minimum)

• Talk about your struggles (don't bottle it up)

• Seek professional help if needed (therapy, GP)

6. Your Relationship Needs Active Maintenance

The stay-at-home dynamic can strain even strong relationships. Both partners need to actively work on it.

Key practices:

• Daily check-ins (even 10 minutes of real conversation)

• Regular date nights (even at home after bedtime)

• Clear communication about needs and frustrations

• Fair division of evening/weekend parenting

• Appreciation and gratitude (both ways)

Practical Day-to-Day Tips

7. Meal Prep Is Your Friend

• Batch cook on weekends when partner's around

• Use slow cooker for easy dinners

• Stock freezer with emergency meals

• Keep pantry staples on hand

• Lower standards (beans on toast is a legitimate meal)

8. Strategic Screen Time Use

Let's be honest: you're going to use TV/tablets. That's fine. Use it strategically.

Good times for screens:

• When you need to make important calls

• During dinner prep

• When you're genuinely burnt out

• Educational content during quiet time

Boundaries:

• Set daily limits and stick to them

• No screens during meals

• Quality content (Bluey, Hey Duggee, educational apps)

• Balance with active play

9. Simplify Everything

• Capsule wardrobe for your kid (mix-and-match basics)

• Easy-clean surfaces and furniture

• Toy rotation (store half, swap monthly)

• Meal planning (same meals weekly is fine)

• Lower housework standards

10. Document the Journey

Whether it's photos, videos, or a journal - you'll want these memories.

Why I started filming:

• To create something for Lily to look back on

• To capture moments I'd otherwise forget

• To find meaning in the mundane

• To connect with other dads

You don't need fancy equipment. Your phone is enough.

What to Avoid

Common Mistakes:

❌ Comparing yourself to social media: Everyone's highlight reel looks better than your reality

❌ Trying to do it all: You can't be super-dad, partner of the year, and build a business simultaneously

❌ Ignoring your needs: Martyrdom doesn't make you a better parent

❌ Isolating yourself: Humans need community, especially in this role

❌ Neglecting your relationship: Your partnership is the foundation of your family

❌ Waiting for it to get easier: It doesn't get easier, you get stronger

❌ Judging other parents: Everyone's doing their best with different circumstances

Dealing with Difficult Days

When you're at breaking point:

1. Safe space for child, timeout for you - Put them in a safe room, step outside for 5 minutes

2. Phone a friend - Call someone who gets it

3. Lower expectations for the day - Survival mode activated

4. Screen time is fine - Put on a movie, breathe

5. Ask for help - Call your partner, parent, friend

6. Remember it's temporary - Bad days end, phases pass

The Mantra: "This is hard. I'm not failing. Tomorrow is a new day."

Age-Specific Advice

Babies (0-12 months):

• Sleep when they sleep (actually do this)

• Join a baby group immediately

• Don't compare developmental milestones

• Take ALL the photos

• Accept that life is survival mode

Toddlers (1-3 years):

• Toddler-proof everything or go insane

• Choose your battles (clothes? who cares)

• Distraction is your superpower

• They're not giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time

• "This too shall pass" applies to every frustrating phase

Pre-schoolers (3-5 years):

• They understand so much more - use words

• Preparation prevents meltdowns ("5 more minutes at the park")

• Independent play emerges (finally!)

• Big feelings need validation not fixing

• They're learning who they are - support that

The Long View

Remember Why You're Doing This:

• These years are short

• You can't get this time back

• Your child will remember you were there

• You're building a foundation of security and love

• Career can wait, childhood can't

On hard days, remind yourself: In 20 years, you won't remember the tantrums, the exhaustion, or the monotony. You'll remember the cuddles, the giggles, and the privilege of being there for it all.

<a name="blogs"></a>

Best Stay-at-Home Dad Blogs to Follow

You need community, inspiration, and validation that you're not alone in this. Here are the best stay-at-home dad blogs and dad bloggers worth following.

Top UK Dad Bloggers

1. Dad Blog UK (John Adams)

• Website: dadbloguk.com

• One of the most established UK dad bloggers

• Covers product reviews, parenting advice, and family life

• Great resource for dad-focused content

• Active community and awards recognition

2. The Dad Network

• Website: thedadnetwork.co.uk

• Community of dad bloggers

• Resources, articles, and support

• Regular meet-ups and events

• Forum for connecting with other dads

3. Dad Stuff

• Focus on honest, real fatherhood content

• Mix of humor and practical advice

• UK perspective on parenting

4. DIY Father

• Website: diyfather.com

• Honest, down-to-earth dad content

• Long-running blog with authentic voice

• Mix of parenting and lifestyle content

5. Slouching Towards Thatcham

• Award-winning UK dad blogger

• Humorous take on parenting

• Relatable content about family life

International Dad Bloggers Worth Following

6. Life of Dad (USA)

• Large community platform

• Mix of humor and heartfelt content

• Great for feeling part of wider dad community

7. Dad or Alive (USA)

• Focus on positive masculinity and fatherhood

• Mental health and relationship content

• Honest about struggles

YouTube Dad Vloggers

8. What's Up Moms - Dad Version

• Practical parenting hacks

• Short, digestible content

• High production value

9. The Dad Lab (UK)

• Science experiments and activities for kids

• Perfect for activity inspiration

• Fun, educational content

10. Dad Verb (UK)

• London-based dad vlogger

• Authentic family content

• Growing community

Stay-at-Home Dad Specific Resources

11. National At-Home Dad Network (USA)

• Website: athomedad.org

• Specifically for stay-at-home fathers

• Resources, conventions, and community

• Blog with regular content

12. City Dads Group (USA)

• Online and in-person community

• Chapters in major cities

• Focus on involved fatherhood

Why Follow Other Dad Bloggers?

Benefits:

• Validation that your experiences are normal

• Activity ideas and practical tips

• Product recommendations from dad perspectives

• Community and connection

• Inspiration for your own content (if you're creating)

How to Engage:

• Comment on posts genuinely

• Share content that resonates

• Connect on social media

• Join dad blogger Facebook groups

• Attend meetups if available

Building Your Own Platform

If You're Considering Starting a Dad Blog:

I started Old Dad Diary not knowing if anyone would care. Now it's a community of 60,000+ people, and it's changed my life.

Start with:

• Your story and why you're doing this

• Document what you're already doing

• Be honest and authentic

• Don't worry about perfection

• Engage with the community

Check out my channels:

• YouTube: @OldDadDiary (60K+ subscribers)

• Instagram: @myolddaddiary

• TikTok: @old.dad.diary

• Blog: www.myolddaddiary.co.uk

<a name="faq"></a>

Frequently Asked Questions About Being a Stay-at-Home Dad in the UK

How to Be a Good Stay-at-Home Dad?

Being a good stay-at-home dad isn't about being perfect - it's about being present, consistent, and intentional.

Core principles:

1. Be fully present - When you're with your child, actually be there (not on your phone scrolling)

2. Create routine and structure - Kids thrive on predictability

3. Prioritize their development - Activities, conversation, play - these matter

4. Take care of yourself - You can't pour from an empty cup

5. Communicate with your partner - You're a team

6. Keep learning - Read about child development, try new activities, grow

You're a good stay-at-home dad if:

• Your child is happy, healthy, and secure

• You're showing up every day

• You're doing your best with the resources you have

• You're asking questions like this

Perfection isn't the goal. Good enough parenting is scientifically proven to be optimal.

What's the Hardest Part About Being a Stay-at-Home Dad?

The isolation and identity shift are typically the hardest parts.

Unlike mums, who have established networks and social acceptance, stay-at-home dads in the UK often face:

• Being the only man at playgroups

• Society not validating your work

• Loss of professional identity

• Financial dependence

• Constant low-level judgment

Physically: The relentlessness - no breaks, no sick days, always on duty.

Emotionally: The monotony paired with chaos. Groundhog Day but with more screaming.

Socially: The loneliness of being in a role designed for mothers in a society that still doesn't fully embrace involved fatherhood.

But it gets easier as you find your community, build confidence, and establish routines.

How Do I Deal with Judgment as a Stay-at-Home Dad?

Short answer: Develop thick skin and surround yourself with supportive people.

Practical strategies:

1. Have your response ready: "I'm a full-time stay-at-home dad. Best decision I've ever made." Said with confidence, no justification needed.

2. Choose your battles: Not everyone deserves your energy. Smile, nod, move on.

3. Find your community: Other SAHDs who validate your experience

4. Own it completely: The more confident you are, the less others' opinions matter

5. Focus on what matters: Your child's wellbeing, not strangers' opinions

Remember: People who judge you are revealing their own narrow mindset, not a truth about you.

Can Stay-at-Home Dads Get Benefits in the UK?

Yes, you're entitled to several benefits:

Child Benefit: £25.60/week for your first child (everyone gets this regardless of employment status)

National Insurance Credits: Automatically receive credits toward your state pension as a primary carer

Universal Credit: If household income is low enough, you may qualify

Free Childcare Hours: 15-30 hours/week for 3-4 year olds (all families)

Council Tax Reduction: Possible depending on circumstances

You're also entitled to:

• NHS healthcare (same as everyone)

• Free prescriptions for under-16s

• Child dental care

• Maternity/parental leave shared with partner

How Long Should I Stay Home?

There's no right answer - it depends on your family's needs and circumstances.

Common approaches:

Until school age (4-5 years): Most common. Child starts reception, parent considers returning to work.

Until all children are in school: If you have multiple kids, some dads stay home until the youngest starts school.

Indefinitely: Some dads continue as primary parent, managing school runs, homework, and household even after kids are in school.

Short-term (1-2 years): Some families plan for dad to stay home temporarily, then return to workforce.

Factors to consider:

• Financial stability

• Career re-entry prospects

• Your mental health and fulfillment

• Family dynamics

• Childcare costs vs. potential income

My plan: Stay home until Lily starts school, then re-evaluate. My YouTube/blog business might continue, or I might return to mechanics part-time, or something completely different.

The key: Revisit the decision regularly. What works now might not work in 2 years, and that's okay.

Will Being a Stay-at-Home Dad Hurt My Career?

Honest answer: It might make returning to your previous career more difficult, but it doesn't end your professional life.

Potential challenges:

• Employment gap on CV

• Skills may become outdated in fast-moving fields

• Age discrimination (if you return after several years)

• Employer biases

How to mitigate:

1. Frame it positively: "Took time as primary carer" is valid work experience

2. Keep skills current: Online courses, freelancing, volunteer work

3. Build transferable skills: Time management, multitasking, patience, negotiation (yes, these count!)

4. Stay connected: Keep professional network warm

5. Consider pivoting: Use the time to retrain for a different field

6. Build new income streams: Content creation, freelancing, online business

Alternative perspective: Your career has 40+ years. Taking 5 years to raise your child is a blip in the long term, but those 5 years with your child are irreplaceable.

Many employers now value:

• Diversity of experience

• Demonstrated commitment to family

• Skills gained through parenting

• Flexibility and adaptability

What If I'm Not Enjoying Being a Stay-at-Home Dad?

First: It's okay not to love every moment. That doesn't make you a bad parent.

If you're struggling:

1. Identify what specifically isn't working: Is it isolation? Lack of adult interaction? Missing your career? Financial stress?

2. Make targeted changes:

   • Lonely? Join more groups, schedule regular adult time

   • Miss intellectual stimulation? Start learning something new

   • Feel unproductive? Start a side project or hobby

3. Give it time: The first 6 months are brutal. Most dads hit their stride around month 6-9.

4. Talk to your partner: Be honest about your needs

5. Consider alternatives:

   • Part-time nursery for child, part-time work for you

   • Job share arrangement with partner

   • Return to work sooner than planned

   • Shared parenting model

There's no shame in deciding stay-at-home parenting isn't for you. Every family needs to find what works for them. Your child needs a present, happy parent - whether that's you at home full-time or working and engaged when you're together.

Get professional support if you're experiencing:

• Persistent depression or anxiety

• Anger or resentment toward your child

• Thoughts of self-harm

• Complete loss of interest in everything

This could be parental depression, and it's treatable.

How Do I Explain the Employment Gap on My CV?

Be direct and confident:

On CV:

2022 - 2027: Primary Caregiver
Full-time stay-at-home parent, managing all aspects of childcare, household operations, and family logistics. During this time also built successful YouTube channel (60K+ subscribers), managed blog with growing traffic, and developed content creation and digital marketing skills.

In Interview: "I took time as primary carer for my daughter. It was the best decision for our family. During that time, I also [mention any skills maintained, freelancing, or projects]. I'm now ready to return to work and bring both my professional skills and the transferable skills I gained as a primary parent."

Frame the positives:

• Time management under pressure

• Multitasking and prioritization

• Patience and communication

• Flexibility and problem-solving

• Commitment and follow-through

Any employer worth working for will respect your choice.

Final Thoughts: You're Not Alone

Being a stay-at-home dad in the UK in 2025 is still pioneering territory. We're not the norm yet, but we're growing in numbers and visibility. Every dad who chooses this path makes it easier for the next one.

What I want you to know:

You're doing something incredible. You're raising a human being, which is complex, exhausting, and deeply important work. Society might not always validate it, but your child will grow up knowing you were there.

The hard days will outnumber the magical ones. You'll question yourself constantly. You'll feel isolated, exhausted, and uncertain. That's all normal.

But you'll also experience joy, connection, and love in ways you never imagined. You'll watch your child grow day by day, and you won't have to hear about milestones second-hand. You'll be there.

Is it worth it? For me, absolutely. For you, only you can decide.

But if you're reading this guide, you're already asking the right questions, seeking community, and trying to be the best parent you can be. That's all anyone can ask.

You've got this, dad.

Resources and Support

Mental Health Support:

• Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 helpline)

• Mind: mental health support and resources

• NHS Mental Health Services: Contact your GP

Parenting Support:

• Family Lives: 0808 800 2222 (parenting support helpline)

• Home-Start UK: Volunteer support for families

• NSPCC: 0808 800 5000 (parenting and family support)

Dad-Specific Groups:

• Dad Matters: Dad mental health support

• Best Beginnings: For new fathers

• Facebook: Search "[Your City] Dads Group"

Financial Support:

• Citizens Advice: Free financial and benefits advice

• Turn2Us: Benefits calculator and support

• Money Helper: Free debt and budgeting advice

About Old Dad Diary

This guide was written by David, creator of Old Dad Diary - a UK stay-at-home dad sharing the journey with 60,000+ YouTube subscribers and growing communities on Instagram, TikTok, and this blog.

Follow along:

• 📺 YouTube: @OldDadDiary (60K+ subscribers)

• 📸 Instagram: @myolddaddiary

• 🎵 TikTok: @old.dad.diary

• 🌐 Blog: www.myolddaddiary.co.uk

For brand partnerships or media inquiries: Work with me

Was this guide helpful? Share it with another dad who might need it. We're all in this together.

Last Updated: November 2025