Potty Training a 3 Year Old: The Wee Wins, Negotiations and What We’re Learning.

Hands up if you’ve had to go through Potty training yet?!

We’ve reached that time, when you have to teach a tiny human how to go to the toilet. Not in their nappy, but on a tiny toilet. Honestly, its not the most fun we’ve had!

We are still learning, and that is okay. We’ve been making some breakthroughs - her first wee in the potty (high - five from everyone) and the success of her actually wanting to go to the potty and it not being a complete negotiation at every attempt. But now the message is clear - its time for the tiny toilet.

Good luck everyone.

When did we start potty training?

We started properly introducing the potty when she was two, just turning three. In hindsight, maybe we should have started this a little earlier - but we are where we are.

There wasn't one magical morning where our daughter woke up and announced that she was finished with nappies. We've simply been gradually making the potty part of everyday life. Changing her nappy is done in the bathroom, the potty is visable and clean and her stuffed toy is often on the potty giving it a go.

And that's one thing I've learnt: potty training seems to be much more about learning a new skill than flicking a switch.

Current NHS advice describes learning to use a potty or toilet as something that takes time, practice and patience – which has certainly been our experience.

How did we introduce the potty?

Before we started it, we got a recommended book - No More Nappies by Marion Cocklico - which is a nice little story about starting to use the potty, which is a perfect level to read with a 3 year old. It's a simple little story about moving from nappies to using the potty.

We've been able to read it together without making the whole thing feel like a lesson or, worse, another thing Dad is nagging about.

That link isn't affiliated. I'm a big fan of buying children's books second hand where possible – they're cheaper and it keeps perfectly good books in circulation.

Our first successful wee in the potty

Then came the breakthrough.

The first wee.

Honestly, you'd have thought she'd won an Olympic medal. Mum was on duty at this time, and I could hear the cheers from the other room. High-fives. Praise. Excited parents. A very pleased toddler.

And while one successful wee doesn't mean potty training is complete, it felt like a big moment because she'd made the connection between needing a wee and actually using the potty. Since then, perhaps our biggest success has been that she increasingly wants to use it.

That might sound small, but when previous attempts involved negotiations that would test an experienced hostage negotiator, we'll take it.

What if your toddler doesn't want to use the potty?

It’ll happen, all the time. They can be perfectly happy with the concept, then a few hours later - nope! Just remember, they are learning so no need for the potty trip to be a battle. We're trying to keep it normal, encourage her to try and make a fuss of the effort rather than only celebrating when something actually lands in the potty. Can’t go but gave it a try? Great! Thats still worth a celebration.

Some days are better than others.

There are accidents. Occasionally there is a firm “NO”. Sometimes five minutes after insisting she absolutely does not need the potty, evidence emerges suggesting that perhaps Dad wasn't entirely wrong.

Such is toddler life.

How long does potty training take?

I can't answer this one yet, and I'm increasingly suspicious of anyone who claims there is one answer. Or a short cur to getting this nailed.

Every child is different and we're trying not to turn it into a race against other children, friends or whatever someone else's toddler apparently managed to achieve over a weekend.

We're still learning.

She's still learning.

And that's OK.

Potty training is another one of those slightly strange parenting milestones. At the time it feels enormous – nappies, spare trousers, potty negotiations and celebrating wees. But it's also another little reminder that our baby isn't really a baby anymore and she is learning to do something herself.

And apparently Dad now gets genuinely excited about somebody using a toilet.

Parenthood changes you.